Is it okay that I don't feel
like I want to live anymore?
Yes, Bobby, that's normal.
* * * * *
Team sports are senseless. The ability to throw a ball through a hoop, or kick one between some sticks better than anyone else is, at its core, an ability without any real value in a purely human need sense, despite many fans' resistance to such blasphemy. As somebody who cares so much about a bunch of strangers' collective ability in these fields, I can see the argument and admit it. Sports only mean anything because we allow them to mean something. What those who argue against the intrigue of spectator sports often fail to grasp, however, is that sports only mean anything because we allow them to mean something. And we allow them to mean a lot, and that is why they are so special. With every kick of the ball, countless humans around the world experience the latest plot twist in a truly unscripted drama in which even the characters don't know what's ahead. The fact that the wave of emotions is being dictated by what is ultimately an arbitrary set of rules and goals does not change the fact that those actions have very real consequences to the untold masses, and that with those consequences comes higher tension and drama than I've ever experienced in even the best works of entertainment fiction.
Sports have brought me some of the highest highs and the lowest lows I've ever experienced and that is in no way to say I've led a life without personal happiness or sadness. It's simply that once you've jumped into the wild world that is sport, there're so few "real" opportunities to invest so much into wanting something for which there is never a grey result at the time of reckoning. The decades of bitter disappoints hurt, and it never gets easier, but man, after you've spent 5, 10, 20+ years wanting something so bad and coming up short time and time again, it's hard to match the feeling when suddenly you have it. The ability to win a game may not really mean anything, but it's certainly not meaningless.