A Possibly Accurate, Not Fact-Checked Guide to the World Cup: Group H

Every prediction contained in this preview is care of yours truly, somebody with an obsessive OCD-approach to World Cup qualifying who only watched non-US matches as five-minute highlights on double speed, muted, while listening to podcasts. They're probably still pretty good though, because I'm super smart and stuff.

Where are they from?: Poland (Pot 1?!?!?!); Colombia (Pot 2); Senegal (Pot 3); Japan (Pot 4)

What to watch for?: Easily the most balanced group of the Cup means you should tune in to see a group where any final standings is possible. First off, big ups to Poland who gamed the shit out of the insanely dumb FIFA rankings, which go based on average points awarded in matches over recent years, with more-important competitions earning more points. So, what did Poland do? Abandoned friendlies until after Pots were decided, so every single match they played got European World Cup Qualifying modifiers, with no weak friendlies dragging them down, landing them higher in the rankings than actual good sides France and Spain. Their spot in Pot 1 was completely undeserved, and totally awesome. I am for anyone taking advantage of FIFA under any circumstances.

Seriously, look at the teams they are ahead of there. Outstanding. (Extra LOL to ESPN for assuming Italy would get in.)

Who to keep an eye on?: Sadio Mane, Senegal. Cheering for African sides to do well is something everyone should do (along with North American and Asian sides) and this group is the best bet for one or two of the smaller sides to come out the other side with very beatable representatives from Europe and South America. Mane has been outstanding for Liverpool this year, particularly in the Champions League, and if Senegal are to make a run this year it is likely Mane who will bring them there.

Why do you hate those guys? (Colombia): Look, they're the closest thing to a power this group has, making them the least fun team to see move on. If you want to root for them, though, whatever. There's nobody all that terrible to loathe in Group H, so you do you.

100% Accurate Match Predictions

Colombia vs. Japan: Colombia win 2-1. I'd elaborate more, but this is the eighth one of these I've done and, frankly, I'm already running late to get ready to get choked out by better BJJ players soon, so time is of the essence.

Poland vs. Senegal: Send in the goals! If there's any football God in football Heaven, Robert Lewandowski and Mane will both go off throughout this group, starting with a 3-3 barn burner.

Japan vs. Senegal: Oh no, my sweet, sweet Senegal. All the goals dry up and you lose 1-0? That's horrible news.

Poland vs. Colombia: More goals! Lewandowski continues to rampage with a second consecutive brace as Poland take out the South Americans 2-1.

Japan vs. Poland | Senegal vs. Colombia: It's only fitting that Poland's seeding shenanigans pay off, and they make it so with a 1-0 win to top the group. Senegal score to go up and put themselves in position to advance, only to have their hearts shattered in the 88th minute by a James free kick. They don't say die, however, and find a winner and a knockout spot in stoppage time. Hooray!

Check back every day to learn all that can be known. For yesterday's post on Group F, click here.